Funny Joke

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

From Laughlab

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Things People Actually Said in Court Word per Word.

Things People Actually Said in Court Word per Word…

From the book "Disorder in the Court"
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Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
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Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
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Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q: Did he kill you?
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Q: Sir, what is your IQ?
A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
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Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?
A: After the accident?
Q: Before the accident.
A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
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Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
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Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
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MobiK

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So who actually pays for the SMS? MobiK is partnered with select sponsors worldwide. They just make a profit through ads whereby a video ad will automatically display everytime an SMS is sent.

CitySquare JB, Malaysia

Ferron, Nestor, Jeunesse, Gelo, Mace and I went to JB, Malaysia this afternoon thanks to Mace's treat (advanced happy birthday)! We had Pizza Hut for Lunch. Mace bought a belt and shampoo. Gelo and I bought conditioners... LOL. I forgot what Ferron, Nestor and Jeunesse bought. Then, we watched Charlotte's Web. It was a very nice day and a very tiring one as well. We had to wait for so long at the immigration because of many impatient people who just can't queue the right way.

Charlotte's Web

Movie Description:

Fern is one of only two living beings who sees that Wilbur is a special animal, while she raises him--the runt of the litter--into a terrific and radiant pig. As Wilbur moves into a new barn, he begins a second profound friendship with the most unlikely of creatures--a spider named Charlotte--and their bond inspires the animals around them to come together as a family. When the word gets out that Wilbur's days are numbered, it seems that only a miracle will save his life. A determined Charlotte--who sees miracles in the ordinary--spins words into her web in an effort to convince the farmer that Wilbur is "some pig" and worth saving.

Movie Review:

The movie was so touching, meaningful and soulful. It had great performances from actors and brilliant voice work. Found it good cause I didn't expect much from the movie, heck I didn't have any idea what it was about before we watched.

Rating: 4.5/5

GooTube II

Amazing! Google drops 1.6 billion to buy YouTube and set itself up to get sued. The founders walk away with enough money to buy islands. This is too ridiculous! Well, the big losers would be the investors who bought stocks in Google at high prices just for it to drop until this case is resolved. If more media conglomerates join in and sue then Google is screwed.

From a logical point of view and not by the laws of copyright infringement, here are two views that may have been thought of by Viacom.

First, YouTube is a very ugly model to distribute content on. I wouldn’t want my million dollar Paramount and Dreamworks Pictures products distributed right next to a video of guys singing Backstreet Boys. Definitely, there’s a huge difference in terms of quality.

Second, if you think that allowing consumers to upload unlimited content for Google to profit on ‘is moving forward to the next generation’ then you are mistaken in my opinion. There is absolutely no incentive for media companies to create creative and innovative media if Google is the one who profits off of it.

If the case pushes through with no negotiations, Viacom will win the lawsuit. The media companies are now basically in the driver’s seat. If they all jump on the Viacom bandwagon and follow suit, then YouTube would have no choice but to shutdown or make a deal with the companies. Viacom is in a position of strength, Google isn’t.

The World's Funniest Joke

Through an online poll, the world's funniest joke was revealed after a year long search by scientists. A hundred thousand people around the world cast their vote on forty thousand jokes. And here it is...

A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

According to Richard Wiseman, the joke is interesting because it works across many different countries. Many of the jokes submitted got higher ratings from certain groups of people but this joke had universal appeal.

Another joke I liked a lot was the top joke in the UK.

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

GooTube

Viacom said on Tuesday it filed a $1 billion lawsuit against Google Inc. and its acquired Internet video sharing site YouTube over unauthorized use of its copyrighted entertainment.

The suit accuses Web search leader Google and YouTube of "massive intentional copyright infringement" of Viacom's entertainment assets and seeks an injunction against further violations.

Every other media conglomerate has always taken the same approach to technology, "It will kill our business". They typically panic, overreact, try to kill the technology, accept it, and then figure out how to profit from it. It’s been seen over and over from cassette tape recordings of albums, to VCRs, and now digital media.

Every movie company said VCR's would kill their business. It was same with the rental of DVD's. It will kill the traditional movie industry. Instead, what it has done is create a HUGE revenue stream. Movies that are horrible, or niche, or just plain uninteresting often become very profitable in DVD release!

Viacom is a very big industry; it can take care of itself. The real losers of unauthorized use of copyright entertainment are the copyright owners who can’t afford to protect themselves. One way Google can do to make things better is to make sure they have permission from the copyright owner before the video is posted. Instead, tiny copyright owners who make a living based on their creative efforts have to do business the Gootube way. These owners don’t have the financial capability to sue Gootube and get something back in return. That is wrong and it always will be.